I am 24 years old. I am a photographer. I am a designer. I'm here to share my journey to becoming fit. I need a way to vent and people to talk to. On May 7th, my husband and I decided to start Weight Watchers, as our own efforts were without results.
Highest weight - 205-210 (at age 15) up to size 18 US
Starting - 191lbs, size 14/16 jeans
Current weight - 174
Current pant size-12/14 Ultimate Goal - Weight Watchers says my goal weight should be no less than 113. I want to be healthy. I want to be fit. I want to be strong. I don't want to be skinny. I'm not sure what weight I will be at when I look at myself and see what I am fighting for. 120? 130?
My husband already got moved to a different department at his new job. This department works overtime a lot. I am already by myself at home from 5-11:30. I am so glad he found a job so quickly, but I am already missing my time with him. He is getting paid a lot more than he did at his last job, and when he gets on full-time, he will make even more. We have very little debt, so we can save a lot. But…I have had a very stressful and worrisome day. I have no one to talk to that will understand, so I am alone with my thoughts for hours. I am feeling a little overwhelmed with decisions about my business. I need him here.
I am fully, mentally consumed by my need to be a photographer. I am painfully bored at my day job. I am nowhere near a camera, and this makes me sad. Typing obituaries and arrest reports will not be good enough much longer.
I have decided to try and specialize in senior photography (high school seniors, not coffee discounts seniors)
Why senior photography?
When I graduated high school, I wasn’t very confident. I didn’t like my hair, I didn’t like the way I talked, I didn’t think I was as pretty as the other girls. I want to show young adults how awesome they are. They all have their own, unique self and they are all beautiful. I want to show them what everyone else sees when they look at them. If I’d had that when I was 17, it would have been an amazing ego boost for me. Seniors are at a time in their life when confidence in oneself is critical and can change their whole future. A little self-assurance can go a long way. I want, more than anything, to hear someone say, “I didn’t know I was that pretty.”
More and more, I find myself unhappy to be behind a desk. I like how flexible my schedule can be. I like that I get paid to do very little while I’m trying to get my own business started. I do not, however, like that I’m not working for me and out doing shoots every week and working on developing my style and learning everything I possibly can every second of the day.
Also, I hate hate HATE sitting on my ass all day. Can’t stand it. I would rather be out scouting for locations on my bike all day, TBH. Co-workers are annoying, the newspaper business is pretty much in the toilet, there is no future for this business. Sad, yes, but true.
I want to be working for me without fear that, next month, I might not do any business at all. What then? I wish there was a bigger market for the kind of photography I want to do. I wish I could afford to go to the workshop I want (I would give my left baby toe). Sometimes, I just want to scream. 2 days a week, I sit at this computer with literally nothing to work on, but I can’t go home. I have to have a pay check. These feelings are why I will never give up on my dream.
In one month, I have lost 9 pounds :) I am down to 171 this morning, and wearing my favorite jeans.
Fit Bit says I have burned 1200 calories. It’s 4pm. Yay, the joys of a desk job :|
Didn’t track this weekend, had 2 photo sessions Saturday, somehow managed to lose weight :\ Back to it this week. Husband started 2nd shift today, so I am on my own from 5-midnight. Going to get stuff done! (hopefully exercise and housework)
I gained a pound this week, but I also haven’t pooped since I ate that half a burger that made me feel so terrible. So, I probably didn’t actually gain, I’m probably just full of crap.
OMYGOOODDDDDD when we get paid tomorrow, I get to buy a lense. Oh sweet Jesus! Also, I spelled lens with an E on the end. Is that a European thing to do?